Leadership and Conflicts

In a leader’s life, conflict is a part of it. It is predictable, it is bound to happen and leadership and conflict go hand in hand.

Where conflicts are not managed with awareness and openness, relationships are at stake. When the relationship has been damaged, it impacts business results.

In your leadership role, dealing with conflicts in a positive, creative and productive way is essential. It is not only about resolving conflict or solving the issue, it is about
1. HOW you resolve conflict
2. WHO you are whilst resolving conflict and
3. HOW you engage people during this process.
A conflict well resolved can make the relationship stronger than ever before, which is bound to have a strong impact on business results.

A true leader masters the art to
1. stay out of the conflict, stay in serenity and remain flexible and open
2. recognize what is underneath the conflict
3. transform the conflict into an opportunity

At 5C!, we teach these skills on the basis of the Process Communication Model®, Stephen Karpman’s Dramatriangle and experiential leadership methods. We help you create from conflicts in a masterful way, results-oriented whilst dealing with the underlying human issues causing the conflict.

Leaders experience this method as transformational and powerful.
Yesterday, somebody asked me “Why is this?”, which inspired me to share this through our blog.

The answer can be bottom-lined in: because it is “logical and easy”.
PCM is a scientifically validated model based on clinical psychology. It is logical, easy to understand and when people have been on a workshop, all of a sudden it all makes sense…all relationships and their communication dynamics become clear.
What makes it powerful is that it goes beyond insights – PCM gives you communication strategies to your insights. Because it is not about “what” we comunicate, but “how” we communicate… and it is easy to USE!
It allows you to actively change and transform relationships and creatively turn conflicts into opportunities.

1. Miscommunication dynamics revealed help you stay in serenity, open and flexible
The insights leaders gain through the PCM-model into the underlying issues for conflict reveal that it has nothing to do with the leader or the person being attacked or blamed but that it has to do with the underlying issue, an unmet need of that person. This unmet need often has nothing to do with the theme of the conflict!

This insight is so valuable because it allows leaders not to take things personally anymore. For the leader who doesn’t take things personally because he/she understands the dynamics of the unmet needs, it is much easier to stay in a place of serenity where openness and flexibility are possible.

Furthermore, the leaders also have insights into their own psychological needs. Effective leaders keep themselves out of conflict (their own sabotaging mechanisms) by ensuring they get their psychological needs met every day.

2. If you recognize the unmet need underneath the conflict, you can work on it to restore the balance in the relationship
When the leader has recognized the unmet need of that person, he will first work on that and “charge the battery” of this person, so that on a human level, this person gets what he or she really needs. This action restores the relationship level and steers the process of communication into a positive zone again. As “technical” as this intervention sounds, it only works if it comes from a place of true authenticity.

3. Transform the conflict into an opportunity and create from the other person
Now that the communication process has been steered back into the zone where listening and dialogue are possible, both parties are “in relationship” again. It is here that the conflict can be transformed into an opportunity. In our workshops, you will learn how to create from others in an engaging and motivating way.

Powerful leadership comes from deep within. It comes from a place connected to your passion & purpose. Skills and techniques are only as powerful as the quality of your intentions. If your intentions are positive and connected to your deepest convictions and if you use your leadership skills from a place of true authenticity, then conflicts hold the capacity to be transformed into strengthened relationships and growth in business.

Take a moment for reflection and imagine the possibilities…
1. How are you dealing with conflicts?
2. Who are you being as a leader whilst resolving conflicts?
3. How are you engaging and motivating the people involved in the conflict?
4. What becomes possible when you look at a conflict as an opportunity for strengthening relationships impacting business growth?
5. What is the impact you wish to have as a leader when dealing with conflicts?

Hope you enjoyed reading and have a great week!

Upcoming open PCM Seminar: February 14-16, 2011

Next dates:
* in English: June 15-17, 2011
* in German: September 28-30, 2011

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5 Responses to Leadership and Conflicts

  1. Hi Nicole,

    Thanks for your post it’s very interresting and brings me a lot of questions:
    As trainer I facing every week manager who have big issues to deal with conflicts
    (1st question: what about manager who is not a natural born leader?)
    and they are looking for very pragmatic solutions like a cake recipe:
    (2nd: What I do if the conflict if in a middle of a meeting or worth a presentation?)
    (3rd: Must I give a sanction for the words he used even if I find a way to resolve the real issue?)
    (4th: If the conflict is between 2 employees what are the steps?)
    Of cource I’m trying to find answers whith them but I would like to have your opinion about it.
    Best regards


  2. 5cblog says:

    Hi Stéphane,
    Thanks for your post and the great questions. They are very real and “daily business” for many executives. I’m very happy to help you out with your client or share my views and experiences. Rather than going for general suggestions, shall we plan on a phone call?
    Warm regards,

  3. Pingback: 21-Day Challenge – Day 20 – What happens if we don’t charge our batteries? | Sharing experiences creates connection

  4. This blog was… how do I say it? Relevant!!
    Finally I have found something that helped me.


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